I just finished reading 'the Zahir' by Paulo Coehlo and i advise it to
everyone that can read! but it aslo made me realise that to get past
something in your life other that water under the bridge, is just to vent it, release it from within. this is what i'm doing now, and i appologise in
advance.

Something i had known for some time I have subconciously denied and
held out hope that it wasn't true. i'm sure that i'm not the only one
that has done this either. but once it is said or written it becomes solid,
real and becomes a physical force. You can actually feel the hope,
that tiny bit of hope being ripped in half, being crushed inside your
chest, leaving you struggling for breath and feeling physically ill.

somthing as simple and small as being told something you aready knew.

how fucked up is the human pyche!

"This book might one day reach her hands ans even if it doesn't,
I am now a man at peace with his spirit. i no longer wrestle with my wounded pride, I now longer look for Esther on every corner, in every bar and cinema, at every supper, i no longer look for her in Maire or in the newspapers." The Zahir , Paulo Coehlo